6/18/2006
11:38:00 PM - reality check
for some reason, dont ask not even i know why, i fell the past few days have been a part of a dream, not in the dreamy fairy tail kind of way, not as a nightmare either, it just doesnt feel real just as a dream, you must know that feeling when you are dreaming and you realize its just a dream but you let it go because you want to see how it ends... well its been sort of like that, and i wish im still in europe just dreaming this and tomorrow im going to wake up have a couple toast and run to the train station and catch my ride to the center.... the sad [happy?] thing is that it doesn’t end, and i've already saw the end of it.
yes i would like to be back there, closer to so many people i love, closer to so many people i dont know, closer so so many cultures waiting for me to discover them, closer.... there are some remaining chapters over there, i guess i always do it on purpose, leave unclosed chapters i mean, so that i leave a part of me everywhere i go and always feel the need to go back to see how everything ends, but thats when it starts to get tough, do i want to finish them up.... i guess its just like the dream im having.... i will never know will i??
im missing something and work it is not, im even missing the clues... patience, patience... Im getting there, but help would be nice
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Ipod says: a bunch of songs from rhcp
yes i would like to be back there, closer to so many people i love, closer to so many people i dont know, closer so so many cultures waiting for me to discover them, closer.... there are some remaining chapters over there, i guess i always do it on purpose, leave unclosed chapters i mean, so that i leave a part of me everywhere i go and always feel the need to go back to see how everything ends, but thats when it starts to get tough, do i want to finish them up.... i guess its just like the dream im having.... i will never know will i??
im missing something and work it is not, im even missing the clues... patience, patience... Im getting there, but help would be nice
_________________________________________________
Ipod says: a bunch of songs from rhcp
i always felt the same and still do, i wish i could bring the continents together (but then you just have to keep them apart cause you know you're the only thing that the people and the places have in common, you knew them and loved them) and i'm dying to go back but i also know that i'd die if i did because no one loves them more than me and i know for sure that people and places would betray me because i've become somebody else to them while they're still perfect to me.
but as you know my problem is solved for now. there are full moon parties on the island of ko phangan, frogs in a bucket in khoen kaen, wild berries outside the garden in cologne and heat diving in through the windows in a small tropical country that left a dark spot on my white skin. but it's either the midnight sun or the snowy peaks in the andes that i'll have to replace all that with, one person of a million to fill the gaps in my world and to change the direction for me.
you know i'm here.
From all the things I know; the one that I care the most is not in the list..... crap!